


when wizards social media

by edeabeth



Series: marauder social media [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Facebook, Instagram, Post War, Social Media, Twitter, everyone is pretty happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 16:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11695479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edeabeth/pseuds/edeabeth
Summary: George Weasley made a new event: help the famous boy who lived move into his new flat1007 going| 3658 interested





	when wizards social media

Harry Potter updated his facebook status: _“we are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided.” –A.P.W.D_

_687 Likes_

_Comments:_

Hermione: so true

 

* * *

 

Ron updated his facebook status: _food_

 _Comments_ : 

Harry: eat something?

* * *

Caption on _@LunLoves_ photo: if you look hard enough you might see the three legged garden gnomes. They’re a unique creature that only will leave their burrows for lavender infused apples during the full moon but have the lovely ability to garden fresh basil! This one was very friendly and stood still while I took its photo! _(@hermione.spew_ try tilting your head a few degrees to the left to clear your vision!)

 _Comments_ :

hermione.spew: there is a very logical reason for what that is exactly

hermione.spew: @ron.ron might be able to explain this better than I can

* * *

ron.ron sent a **Direct Message** to HJPotter: I think Luna thought that the muggle garden gnome was real

hjpotter: I thought you got rid of that thing

ron.ron: I guess she saw it before I got around to bringing it home

hjpotter: why did you pick the garden gnome one with three legs?

* * *

Neville sent Harry a **private** **message** : remember how I said the greenhouses were probably okay 

Neville: and that I swore that I could handle the third and fourth on my own and that Sprout could go on holidays

Neville: and that I would be fine

Harry: do I need to bring a first aid kit?

Neville: yes

* * *

Ron updated his facebook status: _food_

_Comments:_

Hermione: this is your twenty third status in a row about food

Ron: I can’t help it!

Harry: wait

Harry: why exactly are you posting about food every time you’re online?

Ron: dunno the stupid box keeps asking me whats on my mind and I thought it might summon what I wanted.

Hermione: wizards.

* * *

Ginny Weasly _(@gin.ny)_ moral of the story is that you can make anyone cry if you yell loud enough

[584 retweets]

* * *

Humans of Diagon Alley posted 3 new photos: _“sometimes I forget that I’m allowed to be upset. When my boyfriend died it was a really hard time. People got really distant and it was hard pretending that I was okay. A lot of people were expecting me to move on after a few days but I couldn’t. I couldn’t find a way to be okay then, and I’m not always okay now, but that’s alright. I’m living and one day that will be enough._

 _983 Likes_  

* * *

 

Hannah Abbot updated her status: _I swear to god the next person who sets off fireworks in the tavern will be scrubbing the floors with their toothbrushes._  

_Comments:_

Susan: that serious, is it?

Hannah: please tell me that wasn’t you

Susan: remember when you didn’t let me copy your paper for potions third year

Hannah: IT HAS BEEN YEARS MOVE ON

* * *

 

Hermione Granger created a new page **: S.P.E.W.**

 _Ron Weasley and 1024 others like this page._  

* * *

Hermione Granger updated the description: _The Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare seeks to improve on standards of living for the House Elf community. We hope to achieve better communications and support these works in a more effective way. Stay tuned to this page as we will be having a series of panels in the upcoming month, led by Winky and Kreacher. ._

 

* * *

 

Ron sent Harry a **private message** : so Hermione thinks we plan on going back to school at some point right?

Harry: ha jokes on her

Ron: she keeps making study schedules so we don’t fall behind

Harry: when in the history of ever did those ever work

Ron: we should get Neville to tell her that we’re never going back

Harry: that’s a great idea mate 

* * *

 

Harry sent Neville a **private message** : hey man

Neville: no not a chance

Harry: ?????

Neville: I’m not suicidal I’m not telling Hermione that you and Ron aren’t going to complete your seventh year.

Harry: mate you literally fought a giant snake

* * *

Hermione sent a private message to _the dream team_ : traitors

* * *

Caption on _@gin.nys_ photo: and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the famous Boy Who Lived who isn’t drunk but only ‘drunkish’. You’ll notice him trying to climb the street pole while Ronald, only marginally ‘drunkish’ is trying to hold the fully stable street pole up. These are your war heroes.

_943 Likes_

_Comments:_

 hermione.spew: I thought you boys were studying for auror examinations

 forge.w: that looks like top notch studying to me

 percy.wealsy: Ronald you’re a public disgrace. You should consider your image next time you engage in bar drinking.

 ron.ron: sorry _@percy.weasly_ I couldn’t hear you over the sound of I don’t care 

* * *

 

Harry sent a message to _the dream team_ : guys do you think raccoons hate being raccoons?

Hermione: it’s 4am shut up I have to give a lecture tomorrow

Harry: THIS IS IMPORTANT

Hermione: raccoons are trash pandas, the equivalent of Ron. Ron, do you hate being a trash panda?

Ron: that was a jump there, Mione

Hermione: im sorry if it wasn’t clear ITS 4AM

Harry: but I had a dream about raccoons

Hermione: listen potter im glad you discovered the existence of normal dreams that aren’t visions inflicted by a noseless man who talks to snake and is trying to commit genocide, but I will hex your nose off if you don’t go back to sleep.

.

Ron sent Hermione a private message: do you think pigeons are sad about being pigeons 

Hermione: RONALD

* * *

 

Neville posted 7 new photos: we’ve made some great progress in recovering 3 greenhouses. These are some example of Devil’s Snare in bloom. You might note the display of purple flowers that only happen for 2 days a year. #plantsaregreat

_83 likes_

_Comments:_

Luna: how lovely! My Great Aunt Hilda used to make wreathes out of aged devils snare to keep the griffins from entering her home. <3

Ron: #fucksnape 

            Harry and Neville like this comment

* * *

 

George Weasley made a new event: **help the famous boy who lived move into his new flat**

**1007 going| 3658 interested**

* * *

 

Harry posted a new status: _thank you, **George** **Weasley** , for making sure that plenty of people would help me move in exactly five boxes worth of things into a very small flat. I appreciated that. _

* * *

 

_4932 likes_

_Comments:_

George: anytime (:

* * *

Hermione sent Harry a **private message:** fuck ron found memes

Hermione: he has defiled the group chat

Hermione: I thought we agreed we would never show him memes

Harry: (:

* * *

Luna sent Hermione a GIF over **private message**

Luna: do u pronounce gif as gif or jif

Hermione: GIF

Luna: jif sounds better

Luna: dont be a memater

* * *

  **Percy sent Hermione a Words With Friends request!**

* * *

 

Hermione posted a new status: _Enjoy your Halloween everybody, but remember to be respectful for those remembering the past._

_891 likes, 50 sad reacts._

* * *

 

 

Ron sent Harry a **private message** : where are you

Ron: people are worried about you

Harry: dunno tpo of te water towerr

Ron: kay just wait there I’m on my way

* * *

Hermione sent Ron a **private message** : did you find him

Ron: yeah but he’s wasted

Hermione: I left a hangover cure beneath the bathroom sink yesterday just in case

Ron: thanks

* * *

Luna sent Harry a **private message:** you’re going to be alright

* * *

Percy posted a new status: _I publicly admit defeat. **Hermione Granger** is clearly the better player in Words with Friends and I regret ever challenging her in the first place._

_201 likes_

_Comments:_

Hermione: thank you for honoring your side of the deal (:

* * *

Harry posted a new status: _hey guys stop sending me flowers I have a very small apartment also I’m allergic_

* * *

 Humans of Diagon Alley posted a new photo: _“We weren’t in touch with our daughter during the war. We didn’t even know our daughter, if you can believe that! She made a difficult choice to keep us, and herself, safe. All the matters though is that we each found our way home again.”_

_2395 likes_

_Comments:_

Harry: good job granger 

* * *

Caption on _@ron.rons_ photo: _thank you world for letting me see Malfoy in community service robes_

5923 likes

Comments:

hjpotter: I still think him as a ferret was better

hjpotter: but this is even better

forge.w: I have this photo framed for the shop

hermione.spew: guys be nice

hermione.spew: lol just kidding he deserves community service for everything he ever did and said.

* * *

ron.ron sent hermione.spew a **direct message** : u okay there?

hermione.spew: I really dislike him

hermione.spew: sometimes when im sad I remember the time I punched him and then im really happy again

* * *

 

Ginny sent Harry a **private message** : you have spiders beneath your sink

Ginny: you have a lot of spiders beneath your sink

Harry: yeah but they’re my friends

Ginny: ??????? I wasn’t aware that I was talking to Hagrid?

Harry: when I was a kid living beneath the stairs I used to make friends with the spiders.

Ginny: moving past your traumatic childhood we’re getting rid of those spiders they are not my friends.

_Ginny changed Harry Potter’s name to: Hagrid 2.0_

* * *

Ron posted a new status: its been a long time coming but I’m pleased to say the Canons finally won a match.

_203 likes_

_comments:_

George: you’re crying aren’t you?

Bill: he is

* * *

 

FleurWeasley uploaded a new Vlog Video: **_steak night Fridays_** _(translated from French)_

9028 thumbs up | 10 thumbs down

* * *

Ron posted a new status: _after an awful 5 months of learning nothing new, I can proudly say_ **Harry Potter** _and I are official aurors._

_690 likes, 246 loves_

_Comments:_

Ginny: I’ll put 50 gallons down on you guys switching careers before two years go by

Luna: well done Ronald and Harrance! Be careful of street buttersnargles when patrolling

Hermione: im personally amazed you both passed your potions examinations

Hermione: honestly I never saw that coming

Hermione: ever

Hermione: please tell me you didn’t use a specific textbook

Harry: **Hermione Granger** literally not a clue what you’re talking about (:

            Ron liked this comment

* * *

 Hermione posted a new photo: he swears my cat is a satan creature

_835 likes_

_Comments:_

Ginny: weird he came home with so much hair on his clothes we thought he met someone

Charlie: this makes so much more sense

Ron: first-your cat was clawing me in its sleep

Ron: secondly-I hate you all

* * *

Harry posted a new status: _merry Christmas everybody._

* * *

 

Harry sent Hermione a **private message** : will you come with me again

Hermione: to see your parents?

Harry: yeah

Hermione: of course. Let me grab my cloak

Harry: thank you

 

 

 


End file.
